I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
