I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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