you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
