its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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