I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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