I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize