There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
