If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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