Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
