she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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