Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Randomize
