I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
