He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
