I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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