Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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