so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
