Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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