There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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