She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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