okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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