You smell like a Billy Joel song
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
