the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize