if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We are all done wearing pants today
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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