she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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