It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize