In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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