The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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