how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
