yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
