Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
