he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
