Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize