i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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