...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
