tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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