I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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