so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
