Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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