I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
