i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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