Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
