so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
