I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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