Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
third nipple confirmed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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