we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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