I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
