You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
