You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
