nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
