Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Naked. naked and bneed help.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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