My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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