i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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