Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
