I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
