If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
