Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
