high people should be assigned attendants
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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