THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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