2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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