if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
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