Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The adults are the big ones right?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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