I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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