I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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