I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
