she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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