"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize