Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
