I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize