IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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