chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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