My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
