Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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