ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
