I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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