I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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