i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize