remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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