If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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