i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So vagazzling was a success
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
