today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
