bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Is Oprah even human
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
