I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
