he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
